Look closely at both the sentences above. Imagine your friend saying these lines to you. Both say essentially the same thing, right? One of the lines though, is more positive than the other. I’ll let you decide which one.
The sentences are the same except for one word – the ‘but’ in the first sentence is replaced by ‘and’ in the second one. While the word ‘and’ engenders hope and possibility, ‘but’ hints to resignation. It speaks volumes about the power of words and the impact of verbalizing effectively that one single word can change the meaning of a sentence.
This is the overarching message of this post and an one of the goals I have set for myself this year.
My mentor in Buddhist faith, the awe-inspiring Daisaku Ikeda, in his New Year’s message refers to Dr. Stella Cornellius(1919-2010), an Australian peace advocate. She was as a specialist mediator and conflict analyst and co-founded with her daughter Helena, the Conflict Resolution Network. One of her favorite messages to guide people who came to her was to replace all the ‘but’s with ‘and’s. Although simple, this little change in wording brought in the possibility of looking at whatever the situation is from the vantage point of being able to win over it. When you do use this in your life, you will see that the words after the ‘and’ will be a constructive solution to the problem at hand.
I intend to try doing this consciously this year till it becomes habit. I hope you give it a shot as well.
Go on, try it!
The Reluctant Practitioner 